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http://www.facebook.com/amanda.eldreth

Not this shit right here: Click for fuckery

I have a feeling it might actually be this bitch here.
Tried to add me as a friend, denied them, said they were friends with Jess. She has no clue who the fuck that is. Now suddenly they’re the latest add to this bitches friend list…… Joe thinks it might be Ants ex-gf from highschool, Kim. AKA PUGSLY 8D.

Already had to delete my Myspace account over crap like this. Though now I have a feeling it was the same person as this one who set that up as well.
They added a friend of a friend they stole my more recent photos as well. OMG wtf so frustrating. Funny thing is this person had to climb deep into my blog to find some of the photos they got. Seriously, I’m sorry if you’re ugly and have no self esteem but don’t go dragging me into your fucking issues. Until further notice my photo gallery page has been taken down so I can watermark everything and hopefully prevent crap like this in the future. And to make matters even better, this dumb ass has some of my watermarked photos up on their profile, clearly says “MANDA DEADEYES-STAR” as well as deadeyes-star.com on them. Half of them have manda マンダ in Japanese written on them.

What pisses me off even more is they stole my fucking art work. Get my fucking drawings off your page hoe >O

If you people love me, please report that fake ass page.

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Yay all done x3

Number two on my list of  “OMG YAY” presents, my new rock boots… which I don’t actually have yet.. but will soon be mine. I got my first pair of new rocks when I was 15 and have been in love with the brand/style ever since. My original pair featured patent leather reactor style. I thought they must be the greatest boots ever. Once they wore down to nothing I had to get a new pair but unfortunately couldn’t find the same kind in all of soho and canal street. WTF. So I settled for silver flame reactor style instead, second favorite. Those have now gone the way of my originals and I’m left bootless… till now! New Rock FINALLY set up their entire stock of styles on an official online store, including my original pair (well.. minus the reactor but so fucking what). Soooooo since Joe failed at plan A, B and C for my Christmas gift he’s going with plan D: buy me muh boots (partially). I’m counting down the days till we both get paid so I can order *drools*

On to #3, which oddly enough is something so simple. A fucking scarf. Nothing more. Sometimes I’m so easy to please. I dunno why… but I effen love this scarf. The color (omg the color), texture, feel of it, just everything about it I absolutely <3 it’s picked up the scent of my perfume already so it feels very familiar and personal… picture doesn’t  make it look very pretty BUT I assure you it is o_O… and the color looks pretty with my hair T-T.

On to even simpler things…. fucking tea. YES tea. I love tea <3 I drink like a gallon of it in various types on a daily basis. Yet somehow I’ve never received it as some kind of gift for the holidays or any sort of occasion…. till this year! I got some kind of crazy African vanilla red tea stuff along with two cute little leaf cups. Amazingly enough once you add milk and a little sugar to it… tastes EXACTLY the same as the Thai iced tea I pay $5 a glass for at East Pacific. Who knew? Never again will I have to fork over a whole Lincoln over the sick enjoyment I have for fucking tea. All due to a well thought out gift x3 Good job to Christina.

Other then all that I got pretty much all I wanted as far as things I needed went. I’d say pretty successful over all :3

AND New Plastic Tree album with newer versions of singles.. wtf is up with consent o_o KUREZI AMERIKAN DANSU PA(r)TI… lets see what I obsess over next, huh?
Next up… New years party! And I have a whole lot of alcohol to go through and many reasons to destroy myself this year 8D Fun fun!!

Up to date on everything bad:

Well lets see… Joe and I are not JoeManda anymore. I’m sad and happy about it at the same time. Feelings aren’t going to just fade away and I feel doubtful about what I’m doing every other day. But I know things can’t go on as they are now and cannot be fixed. I’m happier with myself and only myself for now and that’s something I really need. The living situation is what really makes it difficult at the moment. Obviously we can’t continue living together. This whole issue has been the source of a lot of stress for me. Where am I going to live? Not like I’m being kicked out or anything but I need this to be resolved soon for the sake of my sanity. How the hell can we move on like this? The answer is we can’t. So I’m at a stand still… and if you’re anyone who knows me I hate being stuck and unable to do anything. Absolutely hate it. Need progress soon.

Up to date on things that are good:

Much of my happiness right now comes from my new found self confidence. I feel a little more free then in the past 6 months…. that and I’m dropping weight like crazy suddenly. I guess I just care about myself again? I’ve been neglectful of my own self worth/growth for a long time and kept wondering why I get worse. So the hate I previously felt for the person I am is starting to subside thankfully. I can feel like a real human being again. I think I was relying too much on another person to bring me happiness and forgetting I should be responsible for my own. I feel stupid about it but at least I’m learning. Not sure if some kind of damage was done by it all though. Might affect stepping back into relationships in the future. Feel like my trust is going to be a lot harder to earn now. Trust no one but yourself, rely on no one but you. That’s what I’ve learned. I know who I want to be and I’m going to be it.
In terms of other positive things I’m feeling more financially secure in ways. OMG I’m saving money o_o. At least I know if anything happens I’m not completely screwed. Security is always good. I do need to figure out ways to make more money though, that would be nice.

Within all this mess I’m trying to make plans and not make plans at the same time…. plans have screwed me enough… but I need to get myself where I want to be. Looking at the bright side of things, working hard and hoping for good. That’s really all I can do. Dare I say I know I’m depressed though. I’m just not sure how to deal with it this time around though… fucking hate pills and therapists. Times like these really show you who your friends are and I’m happy to say I’m blessed as far as that goes. I just need to learn not to push people away when I need them. Always feel like I’m such a bother. I know, I talk about the rely on self crap but this is different… dunno maybe I’m a hypocrite? meh.

So moving on from it all there’s a lot I need to focus on going into next year. I want to finish unfinished projects, lose a ton of weight, save a lot of money and just be happy. Simple enough? we’ll see how things go.

Kuroshio Sea – 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world – (song is Please don’t go by Barcelona) from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

So why the Optimus Prime? Is what we named our computer of doom… quite literally because the computer looks like optimus prime o.O Seriously it’s funny. Our front light thing came default green which we plan on switching over to red to match with the blue so it’s more title appropriate. So much fun ^ ^! Picture time:

Happy 4th… a little late. I was drunk as expected… and eating a TON of food that which the combination has left me feeling not so good today XD. Jumped around between everyone’s backyard BBQ’s. Over all this year kinda sucked though. Not as much fun going on as previous years.

Good stuff to report for once! I was finally promoted at work <3 I R Manda the Companion Animal Manager *devious smile* I has powers now!! But seriously; pay raise, manager perks, authority and over seeing basic control of the all the stores animals. Really it’s what I wanted XD. About damn time! I do worry for my fish department though. No idea who is really going to take my place… but I will crack the whip on them to keep up the same quality as I did >O. Will not see my fish go to poor conditions!

I started a new piece as well (actually I’ve started a few pieces… but this one I decided to continue on) PREVIEW:

So far I like a lot… cause it’s clean looking. Shou from alice nine and basing the piece off of the song Subaru (yes, song obsession). Should be really pretty if all goes to plan ^ ^. That fucking shirt of his is a HUGE pain in the ass. Also *points* new logo thingy. Not just the butterfly anymore! I think it looks very oshare ;D I like muh logos to be smartly dressed XB

Wooo, cranked out another one some how! Did Hizumi cause Joe has some sort of homosexual crush on him. I liked my Tarou better though… anyway, clicky for full view.

Sooo other than more art, new layout ^ ^ and new location for that matter. For some reason just sticking wordpress in a folder within the main domain would cause it to load like crap and time out… not sure if that really has much to do with it… but I’m just guessing so. Either way it works fine now and I has a purty new layout. Media player is being a bitch though. Probably going to change that pretty soon to something more reliable. Difficulties everywhere D:

I’ll get into more personal things later.