Plastic Tree – ムーンライト ――――。

おしまいはこんな夜でした　『いつかまたね』って嘘つきなふたり
いますぐに会いたいってわけじゃないけど　君のこと思い出します
夜空とは宇宙の一部で手の届かない領域に例えれば
満ちては欠けてく月でした　墜ちては泣けてく僕でした

傷つくことが恐いから　出来るだけ傷つけることはしません
まして個人的な感情論　ぶつけるのなんてもってのほかで
ともすればプラスティック的関係といえちゃうふたりでしたが
それでも　愛おしいと想い　こゝろに穴が空いたようです

メール画面　開いて閉じて　たまに　過去を指さき確認
いつの　記録?　好きな言葉だ　されど　記憶　期限切れだ

同じ月　同じこと　胸の奥を照らされたら
あと1秒　1光秒　戻るほどに遠い
消えてかない　消えてかない　出口に似た光を
かけ昇れば　君に逢える気がしてムーンライト――――。

現実が変っちゃうことは　ちょっとは理解してるつもりだけど
こんな気持ちに終わりはないし　この先もやっぱり尽きなさそうだし
未送信フォルダーを整理　残ってたお願い全件削除
『内容が失われますが、消去してもよろしいですか?』

星に　問えば　煌めきすぎて　すごい数で気が遠くなる
ならば　呼び名　唱えた呪文　なのに　なぜに忘れてくの?

どこまでも　どこからも　想うのにね　離ればなれ
誰にもない　誰かじゃない　魔法だけが残る
振り向かない　振り向かない　夢の迷路に迷って
立ち止まれば　君が呼んだ気がしてムーンライト――――。

風も街も雨も花も刻も　吹いて揺れて降って舞って止めて
夢に色に熱に酔に恋に　醒めて褪めて冷めてさめていくのは
嫌 嫌 嫌 嫌

同じ月　同じこと　胸の奥を照らされたら
あと1秒　1光秒　戻るほどに遠い
消えてかない　消えてかない　出口に似た光を
かけ昇れば　君に逢えるんでしょ?
くり返し　くり返し　胸の奥を照らされたら
君の声　君の影　隠れた闇探す
守れない約束をたよりにして夜空を
追いかけてく　ふたりが今繋がるムーンライト――――。

Plastic Tree – Moonlight

The end was a night like “see you later someday”  We’re both liars
It does not mean that I immediately want to see you but I do think about you
The night sky is only one part of the universe, a metaphorical place I cannot reach
Rising was the waning moon    Falling down was the crying me*

Because I fear getting hurt I will try to hurt you as little as possible
Still on a personal argument, attacking you would be unreasonable
It’s possible to say both of us were prone to plastic-like connections
And yet feelings of love have seemed to open up a hole in my heart

Occasionally opening and closing the mail screen, my finger tips confirm the past.**
When is this message from? These words of love. Even so, my recollection of them has expired.

The same moon, it’s the same thing when the depths of my heart illuminate.
After one second, one light-second I return because you’re far away.
Don’t dissapear, don’t disappear. If I rise up to the light that resembles a way out
The moonlight feels like I could be with you.

For a moment I can understand that reality changes
However, these feelings never end. In spite of that it seem this will be everlasting.
Organizing my un-sent folder, Remove all remaining requests.
“These messages will be lost, are you sure you want to erase them?”

The number of stars are often overwhelming if you ask them sparkle.
if I use to chant your name like a spell then why am I starting to forget it?

Wherever, anywhere, I’m thinking of us being apart.
No one, there is nobody, only magic remains.
Don’t turn away, don’t turn away. I’m lost in the maze of a dream.
If I come to a stop, The moonlight feels like I called out to you.

Wind, street, rain, flowers, time are all blowing, shaking, falling, dancing, stoping.
Dream, color, fever, drunk, passion are all going to wake, fade, cool, regain conciousness.
don’t want, don’t want, don’t want, don’t want this…

The same moon, it’s the same thing when the depths of my heart illuminate.
After one second, one light-second I return because you’re far away.
Don’t dissapear, don’t disappear. If I rise up to the light that resembles a way out
Doesn’t it feel like I could meet with you?
Repeating, repeating when the depths of my heart illuminate.
your voice, your shadow. find what was hidden in darkness.
Relying on a promise that can’t be kept
Chasing after you into the night sky, in this moment the two of us are connected in moonlight.

* The Kanji used here in the word “満ちて” could also be interpreted as “waxing/full” when talking about the moon.  ”Waxing is the waning moon” referring to a change in the lunar cycle of the moon becoming big and bright. In this case I simply chose to interpret it as “Rising” to compliment “falling” in the same line. This line could suggest he compares himself to being the empty waning moon.

**As can be guessed from the PV, Tarou is looking at the mailbox on his cellphone.

As my own interpretation, I’m guessing moonlight is a way of describing the glow from his cellphone screen. The story line seems to be the ending of a relationship through cellphone message or talking with someone who he is no longer with through text messaging who he apparently still has feelings for.
All the cosmic references can be viewed as metaphors for cellphone use in some way. “The same moon, it’s the same thing when the depths of my heart illuminate” reminds me of like… how you’re heart jumps or gets excited when your cellphone lights up and alerts you of a new message, hoping its from a certain person. Then “After one second, one light-second I return because you’re far away”  could be more like… “After one second, one light-second I reply” right away to the new message. “The moonlight feels like I could be with you”: you feel connected to a person, even through distance, when you have some sort of communication with them.
If you go through most of the metaphorical lines here you can pick out the true meaning to it.
I love how Tarou can make even a text message break up into something deeper, more tragic sounding <3

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in this iron city, with rugged edges
the dreams I’ve gotten used to dreaming are slowly withering

the intersection wavers through the filtered sunlight
I’m bewildered; lost sight of my way
and, as i remember so many goodbyes
suddenly a melody starts to play in my head

i sit on a rusty swing, looking up at the very bright sky
if i could throw my thoughts up there
my gloom would be gone

the wind changes
with premonitions about the cold season
whirling the air around,
it blows my suffocating heart away
it drifts about in the air, and i wish it could go
all the way to where you are
my own flowers, i wish they could bloom
out of season

i see through it to the future, the cold sky ――――――.

I’m spinning words, to build myself some hope
still searching blindly for a tomorrow

i drew the world colorless
there was only paint left to color you
i really must go and show it to you, soon
before it fades

the wind changes
with fragrances from the cold season
it glistens
it noticed my honest feelings

I’m shaking, I want to be with you
and laugh
my nameless flowers, I wish they could bloom
out of season

i fall through it to the future, the cold sky ――――――.

the wind changes
with premonitions about the cold season
whirling the air around,
it blows my suffocating heart away
it drifts about in the air, and i wish it could go
all the way to where you are
my own flowers, i wish they could bloom
out of season
i’m shaking, i want to be with you
and laugh
my nameless flowers, i wish they could bloom
out of season

i see through it to the future, the cold sky ――――――.

-plastic tree

Here is original post:
Oh joy, I have a stalker. Yet another fucking stalker. WTF! Just to make the record clear, this is my real profile:

http://www.facebook.com/amanda.eldreth

Not this shit right here: Click for fuckery

I have a feeling it might actually be this bitch here.
Tried to add me as a friend, denied them, said they were friends with Jess. She has no clue who the fuck that is. Now suddenly they’re the latest add to this bitches friend list……

Already had to delete my Myspace account over crap like this. Though now I have a feeling it was the same person as this one who set that up as well.
They added a friend of a friend they stole my more recent photos as well. OMG wtf so frustrating. Funny thing is this person had to climb deep into my blog to find some of the photos they got. Seriously, I’m sorry if you’re ugly and have no self esteem but don’t go dragging me into your fucking issues. Until further notice my photo gallery page has been taken down so I can watermark everything and hopefully prevent crap like this in the future. And to make matters even better, this dumb ass has some of my watermarked photos up on their profile, clearly says “MANDA DEADEYES-STAR” as well as deadeyes-star.com on them. Half of them have manda マンダ in Japanese written on them.

What pisses me off even more is they stole my fucking art work. Get my fucking drawings off your page hoe >O

If you people love me, please report that fake ass page.

Yay all done x3

Number two on my list of  “OMG YAY” presents, my new rock boots… which I don’t actually have yet.. but will soon be mine. I got my first pair of new rocks when I was 15 and have been in love with the brand/style ever since. My original pair featured patent leather reactor style. I thought they must be the greatest boots ever. Once they wore down to nothing I had to get a new pair but unfortunately couldn’t find the same kind in all of soho and canal street. WTF. So I settled for silver flame reactor style instead, second favorite. Those have now gone the way of my originals and I’m left bootless… till now! New Rock FINALLY set up their entire stock of styles on an official online store, including my original pair (well.. minus the reactor but so fucking what). Soooooo since Joe failed at plan A, B and C for my Christmas gift he’s going with plan D: buy me muh boots (partially). I’m counting down the days till we both get paid so I can order *drools*

On to #3, which oddly enough is something so simple. A fucking scarf. Nothing more. Sometimes I’m so easy to please. I dunno why… but I effen love this scarf. The color (omg the color), texture, feel of it, just everything about it I absolutely <3 it’s picked up the scent of my perfume already so it feels very familiar and personal… picture doesn’t  make it look very pretty BUT I assure you it is o_O… and the color looks pretty with my hair T-T.

On to even simpler things…. fucking tea. YES tea. I love tea <3 I drink like a gallon of it in various types on a daily basis. Yet somehow I’ve never received it as some kind of gift for the holidays or any sort of occasion…. till this year! I got some kind of crazy African vanilla red tea stuff along with two cute little leaf cups. Amazingly enough once you add milk and a little sugar to it… tastes EXACTLY the same as the Thai iced tea I pay $5 a glass for at East Pacific. Who knew? Never again will I have to fork over a whole Lincoln over the sick enjoyment I have for fucking tea. All due to a well thought out gift x3 Good job to Christina.

Other then all that I got pretty much all I wanted as far as things I needed went. I’d say pretty successful over all :3

AND New Plastic Tree album with newer versions of singles.. wtf is up with consent o_o KUREZI AMERIKAN DANSU PA(r)TI… lets see what I obsess over next, huh?
Next up… New years party! And I have a whole lot of alcohol to go through and many reasons to destroy myself this year 8D Fun fun!!

Up to date on everything bad:

Well lets see… Joe and I are not JoeManda anymore. I’m sad and happy about it at the same time. Feelings aren’t going to just fade away and I feel doubtful about what I’m doing every other day. But I know things can’t go on as they are now and cannot be fixed. I’m happier with myself and only myself for now and that’s something I really need. The living situation is what really makes it difficult at the moment. Obviously we can’t continue living together. This whole issue has been the source of a lot of stress for me. Where am I going to live? Not like I’m being kicked out or anything but I need this to be resolved soon for the sake of my sanity. How the hell can we move on like this? The answer is we can’t. So I’m at a stand still… and if you’re anyone who knows me I hate being stuck and unable to do anything. Absolutely hate it. Need progress soon.

Up to date on things that are good:

Much of my happiness right now comes from my new found self confidence. I feel a little more free then in the past 6 months…. that and I’m dropping weight like crazy suddenly. I guess I just care about myself again? I’ve been neglectful of my own self worth/growth for a long time and kept wondering why I get worse. So the hate I previously felt for the person I am is starting to subside thankfully. I can feel like a real human being again. I think I was relying too much on another person to bring me happiness and forgetting I should be responsible for my own. I feel stupid about it but at least I’m learning. Not sure if some kind of damage was done by it all though. Might affect stepping back into relationships in the future. Feel like my trust is going to be a lot harder to earn now. Trust no one but yourself, rely on no one but you. That’s what I’ve learned. I know who I want to be and I’m going to be it.
In terms of other positive things I’m feeling more financially secure in ways. OMG I’m saving money o_o. At least I know if anything happens I’m not completely screwed. Security is always good. I do need to figure out ways to make more money though, that would be nice.

Within all this mess I’m trying to make plans and not make plans at the same time…. plans have screwed me enough… but I need to get myself where I want to be. Looking at the bright side of things, working hard and hoping for good. That’s really all I can do. Dare I say I know I’m depressed though. I’m just not sure how to deal with it this time around though… fucking hate pills and therapists. Times like these really show you who your friends are and I’m happy to say I’m blessed as far as that goes. I just need to learn not to push people away when I need them. Always feel like I’m such a bother. I know, I talk about the rely on self crap but this is different… dunno maybe I’m a hypocrite? meh.

So moving on from it all there’s a lot I need to focus on going into next year. I want to finish unfinished projects, lose a ton of weight, save a lot of money and just be happy. Simple enough? we’ll see how things go.

Kuroshio Sea – 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world – (song is Please don’t go by Barcelona) from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

So why the Optimus Prime? Is what we named our computer of doom… quite literally because the computer looks like optimus prime o.O Seriously it’s funny. Our front light thing came default green which we plan on switching over to red to match with the blue so it’s more title appropriate. So much fun ^ ^! Picture time: