So I’ll make this a very uneventful post and write about something stupid! I haven’t done that in a while, huh? On to the randomness!

Kai and I discovered this crazy, stupid, screwed up band a while back called “MY DRAGON – Nijigen Complex” (Nijigen meaning like two dimensional). Like many things from Japan, it leaves you scratching your head saying “… WTF did I just watch?! What was going on!!!”. But seriously, I love this band. It makes me laugh so much every time I watch PV or Lives. I just can’t believe this exsists, furthermore, I can’t understand why the hell they’re so popular! They sold out effen Shibuya O-East! How?! Why?!
Upon further inspection we found another band kept popping up under youtube related videos. A seemingly completely unrelated band called 己龍 (kiryuu) with a heavy traditional VK style… Only once we actually clicked one of the videos we realized there was an odd similarity going on…

For the sake of making a proper comparison here’s their PV:

Ok, hope you had fun with that. Now here’s a PV by 己龍.

Notice anything? Yeah.. the guitarist and Bassist look kinda familiar… Well, that’s because it’s the exact same band. Yeah… and the amazing girly pretty vocalist of 己龍 is the same bearded bee costume clad, phallic faucet crazy dancing lead singer in MY DRAGON. HOW?! HOW DOES SUCH A PRETTY MAN TURN INTO THAT?! I was completely mind fucked. Apparently MY DRAGON is like an alter-ego of the band 己龍. Even then, if it weren’t obvious enough, 己龍 actually translates to “My Dragon”. Fuck.

Thank you Japan. Thank you for completely screwing with my mind with your crazy screwed up ways. I have not yet seen all of your potential but that makes me really happy. I look forward to more mind fucking in the future.

Sincerely, Me.

View from the cliff

We ended up staying and Kai’s Uncle’s Girlfriend’s cabin in the woods. A nice warm place to hang around and watch Jdrama all day. We did some sight seeing around the small neighboring towns. I went to my first wine tasting 8D and at no point did I get attacked by a bear. Over all a good weekend.

I realized just the other day I never posted anything up regarding my beloved Picotope mini-reef tank that I’ve been wanting to set up for years! So I went to it and took a bunch of pictures and even made a stupid little video. I amused myself with all of this at the very least.

Our system set up is the JBJ 3 gallon Picotope aquarium kit which by no means would I consider a kit right out of the box. It comes with a decent 9 watt compact florescent light and a filter that can just about get you by. However, for the price I really can’t complain. In the beginning I use everything that came standard since I was all excited and impatient. I also ordered a water pump for proper flow and a 25 watt heater of course.

Shown 4 months after initial set up.

Set up was simple. A solid 2 inch thick bed of live Carribean  sand and 3-5 lbs of Fiji cultured live rock left to sit and fester for one solid month. Within that amount of time the tank went through a normal fishless cycle, with live rock bacteria dying off to help propagate each level of nitrogenous bacteria! The end of a diatom bloom signified the tank was set up and ready for scavengers. We tossed in 3 blue leg hermit crabs and 2 astrea snails to tidy up the death of the diatom. In less than a day everything was sparkling clean.

Jacques, our first Sexy Shrimp!

Once the scavengers settled for a few weeks it was time for some new inhabitants and upgrade the current equipment. We ditched the default filter that came with the picotope and custom modded our own mini-refugium out of an Aquaclear 70 filter. The default light also became a back up for the refugium while we ordered a coralife mini compact hood for the main tank.
The tank is currently home to some pulsing xenia, green colony coral, assorted mushroom coral and a small colony of clover polyps. This also marked the introduction of Jacques, our much anticipated sexy shrimp! Would have loved to get a pair but sexy shrimp are hard to come by here. As an alternative, we picked up a small little squat shrimp called a bumble bee shrimp. Cute and creepy all in one. It’s unfortunate that he is rarely seen.

Jacques and his colony of coral!

By now the tank has sprouted out all sorts of random little hitch-hikers including brittle starfish, bristle worms, small crabs, tube worms and random polyp colonies. We’ve had a few run ins with some unwanted creatures like little black clawed crabs, coral-eating starfish and a couple of flatworms. Though nothing seems to be posing any sort of major problems. I don’t think our tank could sustain anything to get large enough to cause a problem.

For the future I’ve already purchased my 14 gallon biocube as an impulse buy when I had the opportunity to get one on sale for about half the cost at work. Working in a pet store does have it’s advantages when you’re a fish nerd. It’s only unfortunate that I’m unable to set it up just yet due to lack of space. Once we move though, oh, you better know I’ll have that thing set up within the first week! Probably before I finish unpacking any boxes. Seriously.

To end things off, I made a cute and stupid little video of the Picotope. Yes.. I’m totally a loser for doing this. But obviously I love my fish tank.

Cooler weather is starting to move in here in Seattle. I’m actually kind of relieved. Summer time isn’t all that hot here. Especially this past Summer. It felt rather foreign and uncomfortable. Not like how Summer usually feels in New York. As Autumn is setting in, however, the smell of the leaves and drop in temperature holds a nice familiarity. So I think I’ll start to feel more relaxed and at home.

With that said, I’m feeling far more productive than I’ve felt in a very long time. I’ve started sketching again. And a part of why I’m writing now, I’d like to get back into my old web projects which includes fixing this place up properly. All this unfinished content bothers me. Most of my old entries I’ve archived as they’re rather pointless by now. I’d still like a proper gallery set up at some point too. So hopefully this is the end of my procrastination on everything I use to love doing. Or at least a step in the right direction. I’ll also try to focus on not posting uninteresting randomness like I’m so notorious for doing (like I’m probably doing right now!). No one cares WTF I did for Columbus day or what kind of sauce I like on my chicken nuggets… including me when I look back and try to read my own writing. It’s probably a bad sign when you’re boring yourself with your own ramblings years later!

I’m bad at ending my posts as well so here’s yet another bad ending: It’s kinda effen late and I’ve satisfied my craving to accomplish something before bed. SO I’ll be back soon hopefully with something more substantial to say! Night!

On April 16th my wonderful fantastic friends all managed to get together one more time for a going away party… which was pretty emotional. I love them for it but at the same time I had this deep feeling of not wanting to leave them behind. I have this horrible constant brick wall up against the world. It’s pretty powerful when a few special people are able to get past it, even just a little. Truly means something. So I’d say if I sacrificed anything of major importance in making this huge step it was having to give up the people in my life who made it better. Even so, I don’t plan on letting go just yet. I’ll be giving it my all in keeping contact as much as possible! I’ve started a letter writing/pen pal program which I think works out really well. And I effen love writing letters… cute and stupid sentimental things x3

At approximately 12:45pm on April 19th I landed at Seattle-Tacoma airport after a way too long 6 hour flight out of Newark. Kiwi (my parrotlet in case no one knows o-0) traveled in cabin with me and handled the flight fairly well in his little black sherpa bag that he proceeded to bite holes into throughout the trip. I don’t remember my first visit here last summer feeling so painful considering the circumstances. My nerves were in shreds the entire trip. I didn’t know what to expect at all about how my life was about to change. Trying not to think about it made things worse. I was kinda relying on hope. It was all I could do at that point. There was no more planning and there was nothing left I could change or do. My stomach was tied up in a knot as I traversed the airport looking for baggage claim where Kai would be waiting for me. I remember playing out the scene in my head so many times of how I thought this last meeting would go. A moment we’ve both been anticipating for such a long time. As should have been expected, there was no dramatic music or a crazy scene of me running into his arms crying. It was just Kai, sitting waiting for me. He stood up and looked over just as I was descending off of the escalator. I looked at him and lit up. There was that stupid awkward smile I knew I would be greeted with. I walked up to him with Kiwi in hand and broke the ice with a really clingy hug. I hung on for some time, taking in such a nice feeling of relief as I buried my face in his chest. In a small way it felt like home. And in a small way I suddenly felt more scared. This person was real again and this was it for us. One chapter came to an end and another began, just like that.

The first week was my “vacation”. No work. No worries. Just me, Kai, Kiwi and lots of jet lag to get over. All I could do initially was sleep. Some of the most peaceful and sound sleep I’ve had in a really long time. I’d forgotten how nice it is to wake up suddenly and find you’re not alone… and how annoying it is when someone steals the covers and drools.
Kiwi adapted very well to his new cage in a new room. I’ve decided to leave his wings unclipped. He loves Kai so much that he’ll fly right over to him, take treats from him very easily. I was pretty taken back by it. He’s never been this open and friendly with anyone. I’ll take it as a good sign, Kiwi saying “mommy, can we keep him?”.

Generally all the stress I previously had just disappeared. That is until my computer arrived in pieces from UPS shipping! I forever hate UPS now. But computers can be fixed and I thankfully had way too much to be happy about to waste too much time freaking out… I mean, yes, I freaked out… but not as much as I normally would. I didn’t even cry once! So shut up, it’s progress.

That Friday was my dreaded 25th birthday… Why am I so old? Why am I allowed to get this old?! I’m happy I still look 18 but… I’m not actually 18. I’m 25. I can’t do certain things anymore because I’m too old and feel foolish. Despite my small age crisis going on I had a really good time out with Kai. He went the “I owe you something nice so I’ll drop a lot of money on jewelry” route and bought me an amazing expensive sparkly necklace of doom which I wore all day long, blinding those in my path with it’s amazing sparkle abilities. But seriously, I’ve never owned something so pretty <3 we went out shopping and out to eat. Simple but fun. Upon arrival home I discovered our room had been filled with tons of balloons by his family. Was fun having a balloon pool in the room. Not as much fun popping and cleaning them up later on.
I also visited my new store which was fantastic. Complete night and day compared to my previous one. I don’t think I could have asked for more if I made a list out myself of what kind of work environment I wanted. The staff is hard working, my boss is nice and everyone understand that you have a life outside of work. I find it funny how I hear them talking about the few problems they do have in the store compared to what I just finished dealing with. If anything I’m glad working in crappy environment has allowed me to appreciate this one so much. I’m making the same amount of money in a city that’s at least 33% cheaper than New York. Because of that I hate to say I’ve been having some fun and spending more money on shopping and going out. Soon that’ll have to lighten up though, saving money is still very important for now.

Over all its seems everything is a definite upgrade or slowly improving. Downsides to everything? I hate buses. They’re always late. I like coffee but I’m a little tired of it. Same goes for Asian food. The only near by markets are all organic and natural meaning I pay like $5 for a tomato. I have to walk like 2 miles to reach the nearest fast food place… is that a bad thing after all? There’s this annoying trend among the teenagers here to drop out of school and become homeless transients and complain about it. Yes, it’s rainy or overcast frequently… but some how there’s no hair ruining humidity o_o. People often approach us and offer drugs freely in a friendly manner. The crazy people here really are crazy. Internet culture is taken to an extreme. There are a lot of hippies. People keep jumping off our bridge. WTF. There are -very- few skanky women… but the ones that are come with extra skank. Too many bicycles. No deli’s. No more awesome pizza. If you meet a really nice and good looking guy he’s definitely gay. Wifi is everywhere but it doesn’t like to work. Everything has it’s own culture here which people take way too seriously. Everyone LOVES Obama and if you’re against him they far too politely respect that.

Think that’s about it…

So, I like my life. Again. Finally. THE END.

Also have lots more web projects taken on. Some against my will but 8D at least I won’t be lazy. I’d like to get more into wordpress custom layouts that I can put up for sale on vicious and other sites seems like a good money maker on the side. Kai will be concentrating on making plugins, widgets and tutorials. Hopefully ones he can sell to net-tuts or, again, for purchase on vicious :3 being a nerd kinda pays off in it’s own way <3

Now that I have a moment to breathe lets make an update.
So I’ve settled for a pre-made theme… for now. I have so much to do with DS at the moment that I can’t afford to work on two sites at the moment… technically 3 with the forum… and 4 with vicious 8D. Once I get a little more time I’ll probably update the header or something to make it a little different. At least this way I can start using wordpress again. I have some back dated stuff I’ll try to catch up with posting. I archived a lot, as far back as 2004 o___o; WTF. So old.

Nothing but work and web stuff lately. Deadeyes-star had started a collaboration with the tainted world forum a while back. Seemed like a good little merge that made everyone happy, we get help on the database and they get support for their community. BUT people are dumb, some drama happened and the forum became compromised due to an old admin popping back up demanding control of the site after he already screwed the staff over and left the site to die, and a current one who still has a thing for him apparently and didn’t care what anyone else’s opinion was in his quest for internet fame and numbers. Both of them even tried to get us to hand over DS or take the site down even though it was never in any way theirs to begin with o___O. A sneak attack was made in an attempt to bring down our entire community so they could steal it and relocate it somewhere else.
Happy to say, crisis averted. Our staff is just too awesome and our community too great. With that all far behind us, the forum has been re-named, Monochrome-heaven.com, and the community stayed very well intact. Proves that rarez really aren’t all that’s important to make a good and active forum… mostly. Hopefully they’ll take something from this that trying to screw people over to get what you want only leaves you looking like an ass hole. That’s a hard skin to shed.

Theres my small rant, now back to work I go slaving over a dirty keyboard.

Nameless flowers (名前のない花)

in this iron city, with rugged edges
the dreams I’ve gotten used to dreaming are slowly withering

the intersection wavers through the filtered sunlight
I’m bewildered; lost sight of my way
and, as i remember so many goodbyes
suddenly a melody starts to play in my head

i sit on a rusty swing, looking up at the very bright sky
if i could throw my thoughts up there
my gloom would be gone

the wind changes
with premonitions about the cold season
whirling the air around,
it blows my suffocating heart away
it drifts about in the air, and i wish it could go
all the way to where you are
my own flowers, i wish they could bloom
out of season

i see through it to the future, the cold sky ――――――.

I’m spinning words, to build myself some hope
still searching blindly for a tomorrow

i drew the world colorless
there was only paint left to color you
i really must go and show it to you, soon
before it fades

the wind changes
with fragrances from the cold season
it glistens
it noticed my honest feelings

I’m shaking, I want to be with you
and laugh
my nameless flowers, I wish they could bloom
out of season

i fall through it to the future, the cold sky ――――――.

the wind changes
with premonitions about the cold season
whirling the air around,
it blows my suffocating heart away
it drifts about in the air, and i wish it could go
all the way to where you are
my own flowers, i wish they could bloom
out of season
i’m shaking, i want to be with you
and laugh
my nameless flowers, i wish they could bloom
out of season

i see through it to the future, the cold sky ――――――.

-plastic tree

My lack of updated posts can most certainly be blamed on my decaying relationship if it’s even a relationship anymore. Kind of unbelievable that the reign of JoeManda is coming to an end… Its due to so many things that have started to develop over the past year or two that I just didn’t quite see… and really the only thing that would make me happy right now is to be rid of it all and just start over -.-

Things didn’t turn out at all how I hoped they would. It’s a little on both sides, no one solely to blame. I didn’t think we were being stupid about stuff but I guess sometimes its hard to tell being stuck in a constant state of monotony. Like a piece of metal slowly rusting… happens so slow you just don’t see it day by day. But then looking at it in comparison to what it use to be it’s so clear how much damage has been done. Damage I cannot undo.
We’re growing apart.. and need to grow apart more. Maybe things will be different in the future? I dunno.. I hate to make plans for the future now. I don’t want to think of what may be or what can happen. Anything I ever planned on has completely changed, any dreams I ever had are impossible. So I’m not going to plan and I’m not going to dream. Wanting makes it all so much farther away. And then not getting it makes it hurt so much more.

I’m really sick of hearing people say “Oh it’s ok, you’ll work through it. This is just like when __ and I were going through some things and…” NO, no really it’s not. It’s not like anything any of you went through. I don’t want to hear anyone elses stories anymore and how similar this is to it. This is completely different because this is Joe and Manda. This is the person I’ve built my life around. This is our own individual situation. Our love for each other dying away painfully. I don’t even know how I feel right now… so no one is going to tell me about it. And yes I know people have been in worse situations involving kids and cheating and marriage and what not but I’m not them. To me this is the worse situation.
As much as it all hurts I can’t fix it. It needs to break. Then maybe it’ll heal right in some way. But it needs to be broken first. I always try to please other people that I care for… I always feel selfish despite my efforts. I’m going to be truly selfish now. I’m only thinking of me and what would make me happy right now. I don’t know if it makes me a bad person but I can’t really care much about that right now. When I have myself sorted out I can start thinking of others again. If anyone truly cares for me then I’m sure they’ll be understanding this one time…

And damn you Tarou for playing out the soundtrack to my life and it’s tragedies, god why.