Since my venting post last, things are some what stable. Not better but stable. I hate to say I really don’t handle stress well at all lately. So I’m going to try and emerce myself in anything positive I can and ignore whatever is bothering/upsetting me. Is it a healthy way of dealing with things? No, probably not. But it’s my way of coping for now till I can try and achieve real change. I have a new plan for the future but it’s like I’m starting all over with this one. At least it’ll be in progress till I can properly determine whether my old plans might still come to fruition. So for now, end with complicated matters.
On to what’s new. I got a car ^ ^. Joe got it for me for my birthday actually but I didn’t get it right away. Also couldn’t drive it right away. Had to pay for registration, insurance and other stuff to get it road worthy. Also need to get it inspected by next week… and maybe get some new tires. like $450 later I’m not enjoying my birthday present as much as I would like. I am happy to have a car… but I wasn’t ready to take on the financial burden of it. So now I don’t have much of a choice. At least it only costs like $20 to fill up. I’m also not use to driving at all T-T. It’s been like 5 years I believe since I’ve really driven so I have a lot to get use to again. I’m all paranoid I’m gonna crash into somebody. That’s all I need -.-
So with the car now costing me half my savings (oh, did I mention he used my money to purchase it? Used MY money to buy my own birthday gift..) and 2 whole paychecks I’m in a pretty good negative as far as money goes. This means we will be unfortunately canceling our Otakon plans…. as my hotel/gas/spending money is all gone… If I start saving now I could make most of it up… but this year I really didn’t want to have to do the whole last minute saving crap plus I have a lovely car insurance bill added on to my monthly expenses now. Ah well… Happy Birthday to me 
:D:D
So last night I got bored and started translating “want want want” by 12012. There use to be a site up that had the song’s translation and everything but I think it was taken down. Such a shame -.- So I just decided to not be lazy and do it myself if I wanted to know it so bad.
want want want – 12012
たぶんそらは淡い夢
Maybe it’s a fleeting dream
誰も居ない楽園で
In a paradise with no one
砂に還る刻を待ち
In the sand waiting for a moment to return
明けて暮れる同じ刻*
The beginning coming to an end at the same moment
誰も見ない本の中
I watch over no one in this book
僕は君と出会うだろう
It seems I will happen to meet you
薄い吐息 消えないで
In a soft lingering sigh
枯れた最後葉は落ちる
The last withered leaves fall
眠らない夜 君の探して 又新しい世界へ
On Sleepless nights I search for you to a world that’s new again
眠れぬ日々に別れを告げて 又美しい世界へ
On Sleepless days I bid farewell to a world that’s beautiful again
この眼が消えて砂になったも変わらず君を見守るよ
Even if these vanishing eyes become sand, I will watch over you
この手が枯れて 砂になったも 君も抱きしめられるよ
Even if these withering hands become sand, I will still hold you
も何も要らないよ 又いつか 生まれ変わっても
I don’t need anything else, even if I’m reborn one day
棒は君を忘れない だから今…
I will not forget you, so now…
輪廻する魂の中で さよならを
In the endless cycle of death and rebirth within my soul I say goodbye
こだまする真実の愛を 泣き叫ぶ
Echoing true love I cry out
砕け散る この身体砂に為り 最愛の君の記憶 消えてく
This body is breaking becoming sand as my beloved memories of you vanish
眠れない夜 君を探して 又新世界へ
On Sleepless nights I search for you to a world that’s new again
眠れぬ日々に別れを告げて 又美しい世界へ
On Sleepless days I bid farewell to a world that’s beautiful again
全てが欲しい 全てが欲しい 叶わぬ願いよ届け
I want everything, I want everything, my answered wish will reach you
君が愛しい 君が愛しいから
Because I love you, I love you
*In this line and the line above the kanji 刻 is used, in this case to express the word time/moment. In the song however you clearly hear him say 時 “toki” while 刻 would be pronounced “koku”. A secondary meaning to 刻 is a carving or engraving, I think he chose this kanji because of a secondary meaning… kinda like a permanently engraved moment or something like that.
I didn’t fail so much with this one this time XD.
